On days like this I want to have flown more than I want to fly. A single take-off and landing will bring me to a total of three this week, which means I can remain current until February with no further action on my part — useful over the winter months.

I keep putting it off.  But I could fly, why not prioritize it?

My confidence is lacking, I’ve been running behind the plane for the last few flights. The obvious fix for this is to fly more … but it takes the pleasure out of flying when you are fighting to keep up. I feel stressed and frightened rather than excited and adventurous. It becomes a chore.

My partner tries to be supportive but God knows he wins no awards for patience. He helps me through the basics but it’s with sulkiness and difficulty both sides. The moment he makes an imperfect statement, I’m right there going for the throat, finally able to get my own back for his (justified) sniping. The whole thing ends up a negative experience.

I want to fly. But I wish I’d flown more before I needed to fly…

These are just too good to be true! A quick search trying to find the original source failed miserably. US Air Force, RAF, Quantas, you name it …. lots of institutions are blamed for these but nothing actually traces back. There’s no reason to believe any of these are real. Nevertheless, I laughed. Lots.

Enjoy:

Maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are
problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.”
Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.”

Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.”
Solution: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.”

Problem #1: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.”
Solution #1: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.”
Problem #2: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.”

Problem: “The autopilot doesn’t.”
Signed off: “IT DOES NOW.”

Problem: “Something loose in cockpit.”
Solution: “Something tightened in cockpit.”

Problem: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.”
Solution: “Evidence removed.”

Problem: “Number three engine missing.”
Solution: “Engine found on right wing after brief search.”

Problem: “DME volume unbelievably loud.”
Solution: “Volume set to more believable level.”

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That’s what they’re there for.

I have really learned a lot from doing the articles for the small mag that’s been taking my aviation pieces on a monthly basis. “Don’t describe the article in content and length before you’ve actually written it” is a biggie, who would have thought I would so often get it wrong? And not even in a predictable way: this one is 500 words too short and I have nothing at all to add to it, meanwhile that one is 1500 words too long and I can’t find anything to cut out except a stray word here and there.

I’ve landed myself in it two or three times now but I think I’ve learned my lesson, finally.

I’ve also confirmed what I always suspected, which is that having a deadline makes a phenomenal difference to me. Not just “I get things done” but that I even bother to start them. It’s depressing how much I need someone else to be tapping their foot at me, waiting, before I actually bother to get out of bed. Even so, it’s taken me six months to realise that having a hard and fast date for delivery is critical. The editor of the magazine is pretty laid-back and tells me to deliver stuff to her as soon as I have it finished.

After two episodes of “it’s critical now, haven’t you finished anything yet?” I’ve finally set myself a deadline, informing her of it and that if she has not received anything by that date, she should assume I’ve been run over by a marshal and write me out of future issues. This seems to be a frightening enough concept to spur me into motion and I am now delivering articles on a regular basis, which is good all around.

I’ve rediscovered the important of random scribbling done at the time. I’ve found a lot of content by going through old posts where I was simply chatting away, telling people what I’ve done and more importantly, how I felt about it. A lot of it is tripe, of course, but some of it is perfect and so vivid compared to my pale recollections. I know that means I should write more now, so that a future me can be grateful for my diligence. I’m not quite that organised.

Yet. :)