If it happens two years in a row, that makes it tradition, right? Last year I put together the ten most popular posts as an end of year wrap-up. I’ve checked the results for 2011 and I’m a little bit surprised that we have only one repeat entry. All the rest were posted this year.

Number Ten: We’ve Lost the Cabin: Southwest Flight 812

On the 1st of April this year, Southwest Airlines flight 812 departed from Phoenix for Sacramento. There were five crew and 118 passengers on board.

At 34,000 feet, climbing through to FL360, there was a loud sharp noise. The cabin experienced rapid decompression and the oxygen masks deployed.

Interesting to see this particular incident in the top ten. You can be sure I’m planning a follow-up to this piece!

Number Nine: Unfit to Fly

After parking at the clubhouse, the pilot spoke to several club members. They described him as being in a highly agitated, even distressed, state. He was sweating profusely, with sweat-soaked clothing. He was also very voluble, and talked of a number of things, including personal family issues which were obviously a source of concern to him. He was given a hot drink but did not eat anything.

If you have read a few of my accident analyses, you’ll know that I’m usually pretty quick to defend the pilot but in this case, there’s really no excuse. He should not have been flying that plane.

Number Eight: How to Drown a Jet

Somewhat telling is the commentary from the person who started filming: “We’ve got a nutball trying to land.” Even he didn’t expect to see the landing go so completely wrong, though. And then at the half-way mark of the video, just when I thought it was all over, things suddenly get exciting again.

Well, this one is pretty hard to justify as well. The video is amazing to watch and I’m still giggling at the registration for his new Citation.

Number Seven: Sex and Skydiving and the FAA

The film, titled “SexSkyDive” by Live2FlyVoodoo Productions, was a low-budget project. In the early hours of the morning before the skydiving school opened, Torres and Howell met up with a pilot and a camera man to create the footage. The good-looking couple boarded the plane naked and were filmed having sex next to the pilot as the flight began and then continuing with their, um, throes of passion as they jumped out in tandem and soared through the sky. The cameraman jumped after them for long range shots and Torres appears to have had a camera in his hand to get a close-up view of Howell’s ecstasy.

Of course, you all only watched the video to see if the pilot violated any federal guidelines, right?

Number Six: Stunt Pilots Survive Crash at Air Fiesta

When the engine quit, Amanda was on the top wing in the rack. Kyle continued to fly the airplane in a straight and level fashion as long as he could to give Amanda every opportunity to unstrap and get into the front cockpit where she would have the best chance in the event of a hard landing.

Just seeing this post again breaks my heart. Amanda Franklin did not survive the injuries and burns received in the accident. However, you can still support Kyle Franklin who is committed to continuing flying. His website is at Franklin’s Flying Circus & Airshow and he has a Facebook page (you don’t have to be a member of Facebook to read it) at Facebook: Franklin’s Flying Circus

Number Five: In Deep Shit

I have been researching the original rivers of London, specifically the Fleet, which is a part of the famous Victorian sewer system designed by Bazalgette in the 1860s and 70s. I found photographs on various websites: dark brick curved walls with a trickle of grey water pooling at the centre, all edges fuzzy in the low light. I wondered if there was a way to see them for myself and, on a whim, I sent a message to Thames Water asking if that might be possible.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when they said yes.

Not at all aviation related but I hoped you might enjoy joining me on my sewer tour and I’m glad to find I was right.

Number Four: The Amazing Story of the B-17 Flying Fortress

“Part of the nose peeled back and obstructed my vision and that of my co-pilot, 1st Lt. Phillip H. Stahlman of Shippenville, Pennsylvania. What little there was left in front of me looked like a scrap heap. The wind was rushing through. Our feet were exposed to the open air at nearly 30,000 feet above the ground. The temperature was unbearable.”

The 398th Bomb Group Web Site is an amazing resource and I was thrilled when they gave me permission to share one of their stories on my website.

Number Three: Southbridge Tornado

On the 1st of June, a tornado touched down in Southbridge in the late afternoon. It left a 39-mile path of damage behind it, the second longest track in Massachusetts’ history.

This is a collection of visuals from the aftermath: two videos and photographs from Dan Collins who had his plane hangared at Southbridge Municipal.

Number Two: FAA Approved?

So, the story goes that the Alaskan pilot had 2 new tires, three cases of speed tape and several rolls of cellophane delivered to the site and promptly repaired his plane so that he could fly it home.

This collection of photographs was the most accessed page in 2010 and almost again in 2011. Since my post, the event has had world-wide media coverage and even inspired a television episode: MythBusters: Duct Tape Plane. Also, you can read the whole story on Alaska Dispatch, who spoke to the pilot’s father: An appetite for revenge.

Number One: A Close Encounter with an Emu

I touched down 80 metres from the threshold and was just letting it roll out (save the brakes and undercarriage on the rough strip) and the speed had just dipped below about 90kts. Approach on the PA-601 is about 100. As you can hear, we were discussing the state of strip, which used to be very wide, but the grass is narrowing it further each year. An emu was sitting on the side unseen in the bushes and we obviously startled it, and it bolted from cover in front. One of my passengers yelled out, and I jumped on the brakes, hard, and washed off about 40 knots in about 3 seconds! The emu went in front of us and lost his footing on the loose dust, just as the wing passed harmlessly over him! Cue much celebration!

I have to admit, this was probably my favourite post as well. I’d found the video a few weeks earlier and was thrilled when the pilot agreed to tell me all about it.

So, that’s it: the top ten viewed posts from 2011. There’s definitely a bias towards high-action and adventure there!

I hope you enjoyed these and I’m looking forward to sharing many more interesting posts with you in 2012.

Happy New Year!

In the past, I’ve posted ideas for Christmas presents for pilots. But that’s silly. Honestly, pilots are easy to find presents for. We love planes. We love gadgets that attach to our planes. We love books about planes. We love models of planes. We love movies showing planes flying. We love running around the living room with our arms outstretched making engine noises by buzzing our lips. Or maybe that’s just me?

Anyway, it really isn’t difficult to find good gifts for pilots.

It’s all the other muppets who are the problem.

So this year, I thought I would focus on presents for people who are not pilots. And most importantly, presents for people who are not pilots which you can actually manage to organise when you’ve left your Christmas shopping until the very last day.

Not that I would ever end up in such a situation.

Here are my top choices:

Number Three

DIY Star Wars Snowflakes at Matters of Grey

These are so easy to make and great fun! And if the gift is for someone crafty and you aren’t, you could even make a snowflake-making-kit! Just put together a package with paper and a print-out the designs with a pretty ribbon to tie it all together.

Number Two

Doughnut-Hole Croquembouche Recipe at Epicurious.com

Buy two dozen doughnut holes, some plastic holly leaves and a box of toothpicks and make a Christmas tree. As long as it is vaguely in a pyramid shape, it’ll be good enough. It’s deep-fried dough covered in sugar. How could anyone resist?

Number One

You Fly Like a Woman at Amazon

If you know anyone who is getting a Kindle this year, you can purchase this best-selling* e-book on Amazon and introduce them to the craziness excitement of flying. You can choose “give as a gift” on Amazon.com and the recipient will get notified on the 25th that this awesome e-book now belongs to them. What a perfect present, right?

* Well, it’s the best-selling e-book featured on this blog, anyway!

I’d like you wish you all a very merry Christmas and as my gift, here is my favourite Christmas song of the season:

See you next week!

This video about an actual engine failure in IMC is incredibly well done. IMC is instrument meteorological conditions – that is to say the pilot was unable to navigate visually at the time. In this case, he’s in cloud. It’s under ten minutes and fascinating.

The pilot steps through the situation as he experienced it, with honest appraisals of the decisions he made and why. It’s just under ten minutes and should be recommended viewing for all pilots.

Most importantly, it has a happy ending: both the pilot and plane came out of an engine failure unscathed. That’s what really makes me like it.

One thing I find odd is that he declared an emergency but never called Mayday. Has this fallen out of fashion in the U.S. ?

Short version:

I have released a Fear of Landing ebook! It costs less than a cheap cup of coffee and it’s fun and funny and even my teenage son likes it.

So what are you waiting for? Pick up your own copy of You Fly Like a Woman today:

• Amazon.co.uk £0.86
• Amazon.com $0.99
• Amazon.de Amazon.es Amazon.fr €0.99 – English only

Long version:

I have released a Fear of Landing ebook about my experiences learning to fly:

Getting a pilot’s license was the furthest thing from her mind – until an ex-RAF instructor suggested that she wasn’t competent to do so. The thing is, he could be right. Sylvia has just a few weeks to prove that she can fly as well as any man.

You Fly Like a Woman tells the story of one woman’s search for confidence as she stumbles into a man’s world.

I’ve wanted to put this together for a while, to take the individual pieces I’d written about learning to fly and put it into a coherent whole. In doing this, I became aware of what a time of growth it was for me. Learning to fly has changed the way I view the world in fundamental ways, like no other adult activity ever has.

I’m excited to share this and I’m also incredibly flattered and excited at the initial reaction. The book went straight into the Amazon Aviation top ten and I had purchases before I had even announced it.

It’s only 48 pages which means it only takes an hour or two to read (to compare, I am currently reading Horns by Joe Hill, which is 370 pages) so the decision to use electronic publishing was an easy one. All of the content has been revisited and added to so even long-time readers of my aviation stories will find plenty of new details to read.

And at this price, what have you got to lose? If you enjoy my essays or even just want to help support my Fear of Landing website, pick up a copy this week:

• Amazon.co.uk £0.86
• Amazon.com $0.99
• Amazon.de Amazon.es Amazon.fr €0.99 – English only

And a special offer for all Fear of Landing readers: if you will pay travel expenses, I am happy to come and sign your e-reader or computer monitor for you! :)

There are different levels of radio service available to pilots flying in the UK: Air/Ground Radio, Flight Information Service and Air Traffic Control. If you fly into Military Air Traffic Zones, things work somewhat differently. I’ve spent quite some time speaking on the radio and am considered quite experienced. Here are my explanations of the different type of services along with real interactions which I have had.

Air/Ground Radio

Airfields with A/G Radio offer an information service with a radio operator who are not licensed and not under close CAA supervision. They identify themselves by saying the airfield name followed by the word radio. It could be trained staff sitting in a tower at an unlicensed airfield. It could just be just some guy on a mobile radio with no other support. They will offer a basic information service and report known traffic to you.

“Enstone, this is November 666 Echo X-ray.”

No response. I frowned and after a few minutes, I called again.

“Enstone Radio, this is November 666 Echo X-ray, requesting radio check.”

This had been a fun trip but a chaotic last day on the island and we were late leaving. And now that finally everyone is bundled up into the plane and ready to go, the youngster on the radio isn’t responding. Technically, I didn’t have to request permission to start my engine but it’s generally the polite thing to do.

The last time we spent the weekend here, the guy on the radio called me just as I was entering the runway to let my know my son had left his bookbag in the cafeteria. Service like that is invaluable, I didn’t like to risk upsetting anyone. Better to wait until he responded. Still, it was frustrating to be sitting here waiting on someone who’d walked away from the mike.

I called a third time, no response. Had he gone for a cup of tea or what? Cliff frowned at me and I shrugged. I decided to try once more. This fourth call elicited a response: a confused voice came back over the radio.

“Um, are you talking to me?”

I winced. Who was playing with the radio, for god’s sake? That’s when Cliff’s mum piped up from the back seat.

“I don’t understand why you are saying Enstone Radio,” she said.

I started to snap back an answer when it sunk in. We were at Bembridge. Bembridge on the Isle of Wight. I’d been flying in and out of Enstone in Oxfordshire the previous week and we’d be landing there later today but right now? We weren’t there. I shouldn’t be trying to talk to them.

I keyed the mike, abashed. “Bembridge, this is November 666 Echo X-ray, requesting, uh … geography check.”

I could hear the relieved laughter as he responded. “November 666 Echo X-ray, confirmed, you are parked just outside of my window.”

“Thanks for that. Request start.”

“Nothing to affect,” he told me and we were finally on our way.

Flight Information Service

Airfields with FIS are an information air traffic support unit staffed by licensed Flight Information Service officers. They identify themselves by saying the airfield name followed by the word Information. Their function is to assist pilots to operate safely by offering a traffic service and helping with information regarding weather and aerodrome details.

The tricky thing about Information stations is how they let you know what you should be doing without ever actually telling you what to do.

“Shobdon, this is November 666 Echo X-ray, inbound to you.”

“November 666 Echo X-ray, this is Shobdon Information, go ahead.”

“November 666 Echo X-ray is a PA32 inbound to you, I’m looking to join the circuit downwind for runway 09, right hand.”

The response was immediate. “November 666 Echo X-ray we have three in the circuit, recommend an overhead join.”

I had already descended to 1,300 feet, too low for the manoeuvre that he was referring to. He wanted me to fly across the middle of the runway and then descend on the “dead side”, out of the way of the other traffic.

I couldn’t see the point, I was perfectly set up to simply turn right and join the circuit in another mile rather than cross over and turn left on the other side. And I certainly couldn’t do it from this height, it would be the equivalent of running across a road full of traffic.

He repeated the call, enunciating his words very clearly. “November 666 Echo X-ray, recommend an overhead join.”

I continued towards the airfield, frustrated and confused. The advice that the Officer was giving me didn’t make sense. But he was in a better position than I was to gauge the situation. I sighed and admitted it wouldn’t make that much difference to me. I might as well do it.

“November 666 Echo X-ray is climbing to 2,300 feet for overhead join.”

As I made the call, it suddenly clicked. I was turned around and in completely the wrong place. I said Runway 09 but I was heading for the join for Runway 27, that is, the same runway going the opposite direction. I couldn’t possibly join downwind for Runway 09 from my present position which is why he wanted me up and out of the way of his traffic.

I went overhead and joined downwind in a sensible manner, going the right way … much to the relief of Shobdon Information who were trying really hard not to tell me what to do.

Air Traffic Control

Airfields with an ATC service have an active control tower staffed by air traffic controllers and are under close CAA supervision. Only ATC are authorised to issue clearances. They identify themselves by saying the airfield name followed by their function (Ground, Tower, Approach, Director, Radar). They offer a variety of services including control, flight information and traffic.

The flight from Guernsey to Alderney was only notable in its simplicity: it took longer to get everyone into the plane than it did to make the journey. Only as we landed did it get hectic.

“Backtrack and exit at Alpha.”

I always feel a faint Top Gun thrill at phrases like that which sound so complicated but are really straight-forward: permission to turn around and head back up the runway to the taxi-way marked with an A.

“Wilco,” I said with a knowing nod.

Except that having spun the plane around, I couldn’t find Alpha. There was a bit of a turn-in on my right which might be Alpha but there was no sign and it was really just a trail disappearing into the grass. With the wet weather I was worried about taking a wrong turn and getting stuck in the mud. It had happened before. I grabbed for my plate with a map of the airfield to try to work out where Alpha was.

“Turn right,” said an impatient voice on the radio. “And expedite, I’ve got another one coming in.” Two planes at the airfield at once, this must be a veritable traffic jam by Alderney standards. I bit my lip and turned the plane right onto the grass and paused.

“Carry on,” said the voice again. “Straight ahead, between the two markers. I take it you’ve never been here before?”

“Affirmative,” I said in my best professional pilot voice. Followed by “Sorry,” blowing away any semblance of radio competence.

“Just carry on straight. And expedite!”

I trundled forwards and made my way to where I could see other parked aircraft, hoping I was in the right place. The voice interrupted me.

“Pull forward to the blue markers, then face south and then west.”

I frowned as I pulled forward; was he trying to make it difficult?

“Which way is south,” I hissed at Cliff as I fumbled to get the map out again.

“Turn left,” he said. I turned then tried to picture a map in my head. If I am facing south then I’m looking towards Texas. California is west and on my right. Got it! I opened my eyes and looked around. “So west is to the right now, right?”

Cliff sighed at me. “Just use the Directional Indicator?”

I blushed. I used it all the time in the air but on the ground? Hadn’t occurred to me. I turned the plane until the big arrow on the DI pointed west.

“Just park there,” said the voice. The other plane landed and radio silence descended. It would probably be at least an hour before they see any further traffic. I shut the engine down.

Military Air Traffic Zones

It goes without saying that you should be unfailingly polite to any controller who has fighter jets to back him up. In the UK, the pilot should contact the controller either 15 nautical miles or 5 minutes flying time from a military boundary, whichever is sooner, requesting penetration. To enter the central area (Aerodrome Traffic Zone) you must receive permission and comply with the controller’s instructions.

My first run-in with the military was actually in France.

We had landed at an airfield for refuelling but they were having technical difficulties and informed us that they would not be able to offer fuel for the rest of the day. A quick glance at book showed us another airfield on route that listed AVGAS 100L and so we jumped into the plane and went straight there, plotting the route as we went.

“Cognac, this is November 666 Echo X-ray.”

“November 666 Echo X-ray, pass your message.”

I focused on making the perfect call. “November 666 Echo X-ray is a PA32 inbound to you, currently 20 miles to your northwest at 4,000 feet, request airfield information and joining instructions.”

There was a brief pause.

“November 666 Echo X-ray can you state your intentions?”

I was surprised by the question. “November 666 Echo X-ray is a PA 32 inbound to you for refuelling.”

“November 666 Echo X-ray are you aware that this is a military airfield?” Military airfield. Not for civilian use. Oops.

“Oh. Uh, no. Negative. I was not aware.”

“November 666 Echo X-ray I say again, can you state your intentions?”

I bit my lip but silence seemed likely to get a missile aimed in my direction.

“Er, I intend to ask your advice on where we could go for refuelling in the local area?”

The controller chuckled and agreed. He checked that it was not an emergency before recommending that I fly direct to Angoulême and even offered me a heading and a flight information service directly to the airfield. Anything, I guess, to keep me out of his zone.

Using the radio professionally has become an essential requirement in the modern aviation environment. Radio provides the interface between you and others, especially the Air Traffic Service Unit (ATSU) whose frequency you are using. You will make life more comfortable for yourself (and others) if you can use the radio efficiently.

When I first started my PPL, I was told that I had a real knack for using the radio. Getting my radio licence was the easiest part of the entire training. Little did I know that in the meantime, I would manage to mess up speaking to every different type of Air Traffic Service Unit in existence.

This was originally posted in November of 2008. My radio skills have not improved since then.

Read more about my flying experiences in my ebook: You Fly Like a Woman

A mix of entertainment this week with a round-up of current events and news from around around the aviation world. Enjoy!

English Lessons for China Airline After Unauthorized Take Off – China Real Time Report – WSJ

How do you say “Oops” in Chinese?

China Eastern Airlines is pledging to improve the English-language skills of its crew following an incident in the Japanese city of Osaka where a Shanghai-bound China Eastern flight took off apparently without permission from the tower, in what may have been a simple case of broken communication between the pilot and controllers.

Found in Reddit SpacePorn: Soyuz capsule recovery in Kazakhstan:

Qantas investigates pilot’s steamy midair ‘interaction’ | Herald Sun

The seat has privacy walls and reclines to become a bed. The pilot was off-duty and not in uniform at the time of the incident.

He was scolded twice by crew as passengers became annoyed at the public display of affection, sources said.

After the flood of complaints, the pilot shifted to economy.

A later report stated that it was unclear if the pilot knew the woman before boarding the flight. I sort of want to high-five him for a clever upgrade.

Video of police ramming a smuggler’s aircraft – Golf Hotel Whiskey

Hat tip to the FlightSchoolList.com website for posting this video of what happens when smugglers in an aircraft try to outrun the Brazilian police in a vehicle: The police simply ram the aircraft with their vehicle and ground it!

How striking! Heathrow queues shorter on day of protest | Society | The Guardian

“It was the fastest we’ve ever cleared immigration here,” said Sue Bates, with her husband, Ben, who had landed from Bangkok after a holiday in Koh Samui.

Alanrewaju Adewunmi, 58, flying in from Lagos via Madrid, said he waited no more than two minutes before clearing the border after a face check and passport scan. “I was expecting something much worse and hours of waiting before I got out of here,” he said.

Stunning F-35 Shots at Flightstory.net – Aviation Blog, News & Stories

These stunning photos have been hand-picked as a little tribute to one of the most awesome fighter jets ever built – the Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II. Initial fielding of this single-engine, fifth generation multirole fighters is currently scheduled for 2016.

Why You Can’t Read a Kindle During Take-Off—4 Theories – James Fallows – Technology – The Atlantic

As usual the token pilot who can’t prove it but is sure that there is an issue. For the record, I’ve dealt with the phone issue here: Phones Interfering with Flight

He does mention my point – airlines are really encouraging passengers to keep situational awareness – under the D.A.R.E. effect. Still, with that justification Kindles and books should be cut off whilst digital cameras would be just fine.

From TED Ideas worth spreading: Strapped to a jet-powered wing, Yves Rossy is the Jetman — flying free, his body as the rudder, above the Swiss Alps and the Grand Canyon. After a powerful short film shows how it works, Rossy takes the TEDGlobal stage to share the experience and thrill of flying.

Did I miss a good aviation story? Leave the link in the comments!